disincentive

The day another draught of smoke. Another drag and draw of ribs and wretched breath. The song strewn among the syllables while the vile blaspheme the truth. The litany of the mystery, the purchase of the ritual. The spirit spun silly by the reel, I burn down slow, adrift amid the dregs.

From anima to animal, we recuse our thoughts to math and magic. This false dichotomy, this pumped up rictus of bumps and grumbles, all our huddled explanations spread out on the floor. The words are only passing through, the turn from worm to worm. The built in “yes, and” of survival becomes the sunny crowns of the monkey kings of make believe. Too busy with the hoot and thump to attend to their humble covenant.

The missing is insistent, the lonesome a pervasive fact. Somehow the world eludes me, something in between the feels. Pronounced a ghost by all that haunt me, unable to explain or abide. As if the echo started it. As if the ripples explain the sinking stone. Nothing left to pretend, and the days grow dark and cruel.