blue mood landscape

The afternoon takes a deep breath and exhales sun and sparrows as shadows paint the cement and the doves make their move. The sky takes its time, shuffling clouds and spilling wind as the the air warms, birdsong and amplified music mingle while the world takes us for a ride. Families move maskless along the sidewalks, children and parents mingling with neighbors like they were going to live forever. Everyone has a price, no matter what the cost. The dark days have yet to come.

Breathing is getting a little rough, some congestion settling in deep that I can’t seem to clear. I might be running a temperature, but I haven’t confirmed or disproved this yet. There seems to be some mild imbalance while moving and a growing ache in my head and intermittent soreness in my throat. None of this is enough for me to assume I have the most current available illness, as I generally don’t keep up with the latest trends, but my opinion ain’t worth much. Whatever happens, I won’t be seeking medical attention. No insurance, and with my many human deficits, no real reason to carry on. I’m already holed up, but I suppose I could hole up more.

The Ghost Dance Religion, the Boxer Rebellion, the Xhosa Cattle Killing movements were all driven by colonizers destroying old ways of lives. Millenarian movements tend to be like that. The Roman occupation of Jerusalem caused the millenarian movement we call Christianity. The modern American Evangelical movement is another millenarian movement, but this anti American doomsday cult has been essential in the rise of the malignant irrational right wing. This particular intersection of white supremacy, capitalism, and American exceptionalism is unusual in such movements in its participation in the dominant power structure while maintaining its everybody’s pickin on me narrative. As the lawless vermin at the wheel consolidate their power, and our undisciplined natures are celebrated, we are headed for a plague and idiot driven collapse. These blue mood landscapes I paint just more ephemeral frippery while smoke fills the heavens, this wasted life all the more shameful for the facts.