decrescendo

Finally, I sit down, and the sun gets up to leave. I try not to take it personally, it’s a busy star and besides they say the world’s to blame. Sometimes tossing, ever turning, I am still upon this restless earth as the lights go down. Maybe I’m waiting for something I’ll never see; maybe I’m waiting for someone to leave. The heart goes tight at the height of the inhalation, then I feel it fall and gush. The embers are bright, the smoke is flush with the shadows, Jupiter shines above the shapes cut from the purpling sky. A roof, a tree, little sympathy for the one that is found in fault. 

Night arrives, and even the stars are hidden. Porch light moths and busy spiders go through their routines, spilled smoke and smudged lenses dulling inept eyes. The day takes and takes until you are burned down to a nub. The day smokes you to the filter, the night arrives and offers you a light. Cars creep the curbs, the roof is given over to rats and the Queen of the Night. I am a wreck, I am in ruins, sleep is the mystery of an uncharted shore. Sleep is the best reward the undeserving can expect. The course is clear, the path obscured by mood and meat.

I am crowned in cobwebs, I am obscured by the light that lands at my feet. Fate eludes me like any passing thought. Items on the list remain unchecked, doors to check and dishes yet to do. I bear the curse without a clue, what happened to me, what happened with you. Sing it to the unseen stars, pray to gods of words and tears, tear the seal to find the beast as absent as if you rolled back the stone on that emptied tomb. The earth allows for what is, the earth remits no easy answers. The calendar turns, the heart beats it’s sad tattoos, we escape the orbit of our allotted portions. The fall only this open book, flight and the forever wish for wings. The fall all I am owed of this hollow bounty.