Life’s too short and too long. Waiting for something to happen, watching it fade away. Missing the moment like I measured twice for it. Lately it seems I only stand to get my legs knocked from under me. Sure the thinking makes it so, but the world is always glad to pile on. The lid was loose and all the love got out. Taking each beating in the order I deserve them. Watching every soul I care about shrug and walk away. Another notch on the belt, another one bites the dust.
Moments and mementos, brief interludes of fantasy and long nights alone. The most dangerous lies live inside us. The desperate sense of slipping away, the story time dreams circling our most precious selves, the injuries we learn to conceal so well we end up all wound. Words that have betrayed so often that even writing them hurts. I know there are human pieces missing from me, things I never learned and seem unable to pick up as I go. I lost. It’s that simple. I lose. It’s what I do.
I didn’t plan to be like this. I didn’t plan anything at all. Every day arrives a stranger, every day leaves unknown. I serve my time and do my duty, both poorly. I gripe and grumble, I rage and roar. The years fly on by.
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